Imogen’s story: Supporting a loved one in suicide crisis
Imogen is a member of the Association of Mental Health First Aiders® and has been a trained MHFAider® for over seven years. She currently works in the NHS as a Project Manager.
MHFA England® training helps to develop mentally healthy workplaces and creates a ripple effect out into communities, with the potentital to improve and save lives. Imogen took her training through her workplace but we spoke to her about a time when she used her MHFAider skills to support a family member who was experiencing thoughts of suicide.
On MHFAider Day, we shine a light on the ripple effect of that care, from individual lives to communities and families.
Supporting a loved one
‘A family member shared with me that another close family member was struggling with their mental health. I had no inkling or knowledge that they’d been experiencing poor mental health. They’d been keeping it all hidden from me, they felt that sharing it with me would’ve been a burden on me.
I called them right away. Initially, they were skating around their true feelings and thoughts. I remained patient and kept asking open questions to explore how they were. Eventually, they did open up to me. During the discussion they used langauge, that I knew from my training, indicated they may be experiencing thoughts of suicide.
I spotted this and said,
"When people say things like what you described to me, they may be thinking about suicide."
There was a big pause but they admitted that it was something they had been thinking about. They had been having difficulty at work and had taken time off due to stress. It was during this time that their mental health had deteriorated.
How my training helped
The training definitely helped me recognise the severity of what was being said. Without the training I may not have brought up anything specific about suicide. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do that. It’s such a hard thing to say out loud it, but having practise and training helped me to feel confident to ask that question.
In our culture in England, we can be very indirect, especially around feelings. Just being able to be more aware of that and really listening, and question things in the moment is key.
Having exact sentences to use was really helpful. I had the workbook from the course near me and I managed to grab it duing the phone call and have a structured plan on how to approach the conversation.
My one bit of advice would be to take the training, don’t be afraid of it or the responsibility that comes with it. It equips you with the skills in those situations to do something constructive. You need to ask the question, no matter how hard it is, even if you’re not 100% sure. If you’re in doubt, ask the question.
Signposting to support
The direct approach was needed in this instance, they needed intervention and support as they were alone at home. I knew I needed to keep them on the phone and I contacted another family member to go around and be with them. We then agreed a plan to keep them safe that evening and followed up in the morning with a GP appointment to ensure they received the proper support.
It's a slightly different dynamic when you’re supporting a family member compared to a work colleague. I made sure to check-in with them every day to see how they were and took time-off to visit them. I found out they felt a lot of stigma around seeking support. They were of an age where they didn’t feel comfortable talking about their mental health. I spoke about how common it is for people to speak to therapists and other people about how you’re feeling.
My support network
I have a very supportive partner who I was able to speak to and share how I was feeling and how it was impacting me. It’s important to share your own feelings with others. I enjoy walking my dog and having cuddles with him, he really helps with managing feelings of anxiety or stress.
I reached out to our internal wellbeing team and let them know I had had a conversation and used the training they had provided us with. They were very supportive and offered me other avenues of support for myself. We have an employee assistance programme and other wellbeing support groups so I knew I could seek support there if needed.
Become a member of the Association of Mental Health First Aiders
Behind every MHFAider is confidence, skill, and care. Mental Health First Aiders are quietly transforming how we talk about and support mental health. One conversation at a time, they’re creating safer, more supportive workplaces and communities.
Access our resources
Having these conversations is never easy. That’s why we’re committed to helping employers and employees look after their own wellbeing, as well as those they support. We’ve created free resources to help you be more confident to start a conversation about suicide.
As a training organisation, we can’t provide mental health support, but there are lots of people who can. In an emergency, please contact 999 immediately or go to your nearest Accident and Emergency (A&E).
If you need medical help fast, but it’s not a 999 emergency:
NHS
You can now contact your local crisis service by calling NHS 111 and selecting the mental health option, which is free to access.
There, you will be connected directly to your local crisis service, where they will provide you with immediate mental health advice and support 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
Website: nhs.uk
Samaritans
The Samaritans is a free, confidential service providing emotional support 24/7 all year round. You can reach them by calling 116 123 (Free of charge), or visit their website for more information.
SHOUT 85258
Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, anonymous text support service. You can text them from wherever you are in the UK. Text the word ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 to start a conversation with a trained Shout Volunteer.