Steve’s story: What MHFA training taught me about self-care and giving support
For MHFAider® Day, we spoke with Steve Millar, a specialist Geoenvironmental Engineer, working at the National House Building Council (NHBC). He’s worked for nearly 20 years in the industry and has been a trained MHFAider since October 2022.
Steve spoke to us after completing his MHFA Refresher training in October 2025. Steve refreshed his confidence, skills, and knowledge but also reflected on the incredible personal journey he’s experienced since taking our MHFA® course back in 2022.
The MHFA training all those years ago helped me on my journey to realise about my brain and my neurodiversity. It helped me unpick parts of my brain. I didn’t realise at the time, but I reflected during my MHFA Refresher training and I looked back and thought how much I’ve changed, and how far I’ve come in that time.
What MHFA training has done for me
I always knew my brain was challenging, always creating and getting me into mischief. I always had this inner push-pull, the autistic and the ADHD side, always contradicting each other, conflicting, and I never quite understood it. At 44 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism, there's a lot of historical trauma that appears because you start realising, replaying all these scenarios and situations. Mental health first aid training helped me understand those feelings. Taking the training, helped me on my path to becoming aware of my neurodiversity – they’re all interconnected.
When mental health first aid training was first made available to me at NHBC - I thought this might help me. I didn't think it would have the impact that it's had on me, if I'm being honest. It’s not just about how to support others; it also teaches a lot of key skills to look after your own mental wellbeing too.
I’ve experienced periods of poor mental health in my life (pre-diagnosis). I have a tool to help me check-in with myself. I used to do it daily, now it's a couple of times a week. On a scale of 1 to 10, with ten being poor, one being good, it would usually be around six or seven as a standard. Over time, I’ve been better at managing my mental health thanks to the training and the MHFA Refresher course. I'm at around four nowadays. Even when life events happen, I'm still in a mentally healthy place.
The Stress Container is a key tool that helped me manage my own self-care and understand about dealing with stress. I think everybody should know about it. I've learned to slow down relatively to where I was (I am still pretty rapid). I'm not burning myself out at work, or for other people. If I burnout then I can’t support others in the way I want to, especially my wife who needs a kidney transplant. I credit the MHFA training for making sure I can look after myself. It helps you understand your own boundaries and how big your stress container is.
Supporting others in a healthy way
Without the training I would’ve struggled to be able to understand and learn to express myself and offer support to others, in the right way. I’ve always wanted to help people, but I used to do it in an uncontrolled manner that was either a bit invasive or too enthusiastic. It was hard for me to do, especially with rejection sensitivity.
Now, I understand how to do it. I sit back more, listen, observe, and then I use all my strengths, that I know I have, to then ask the right questions to make sure that person is okay. I can help at the initial point, but I'm always pointing people towards professional help. The key thing for me about supporting others is the importance of following boundaries safely. I can only take it so far.
That was a huge change for me. Through that, I’ve found a great additional sense of purpose, being able to support others. I've supported other colleagues many times. It’s such a transformation. It’s completely changed how I help people, not only at work but also in my personal life.
I helped set up a neurodiversity support circle at work. I’ve become the lead on it and grown it from four people to 40 people in just over a year. I use my mental health first aid to help people when they initially come into the support circle, because for a lot of people, it can be overwhelming and gives a sense of uncertainty as they realise everything wasn’t quite what it was.
It's amazing connecting with other people who are neurodiverse. We understand each other better through our lived experiences. I never had that before; I always felt really different. I've gone through 45 years of life feeling that. It feels great because I'm not ashamed of sharing that anymore. I’ve founded a supportive group that helps one another and who get it.
Looking to the future
Without a mental health first aid, I wouldn't be where I am now. I'm able to help people, in particular neurodiverse people at work and around me, whatever stage they’re at, whether its awareness, diagnosis or a person in their lives. I'm hoping that I can enjoy the second half of my life with better mental health than I did for the first 45 years. MHFA training has just contributed massively to my own better mental health and wellbeing. Now, I feel I can try and work on other aspects of my life.
Mental health first aid training put me on the pathway to understanding myself and then the last 18 months helping other people. It's cliché, but it was a journey, and it still is a journey. I don't know where it's going to end. That's the key thing. There is no ending. So I'm just going to carry on doing what I'm doing and then just see what presents itself.
If everybody could do MHFA training, I think there'd be a lot more happier people in the world.
Celebrating our MHFAiders
MHFAiders don’t do it for recognition, but they deserve it. On MHFAider Day, we say thank you to those who show up for others when it matters most.
We also know that Confidence matters. That’s why MHFAider Day is also a reminder to refresh your skills every three years with the MHFA Refresher course.